“Honey, can you pass me the remote? It is our child. He seems to be malfunctioning.”

Ernie grunted. He looked at the body of his offspring, frozen in his place on the ground, unresponsive. “If this happens once more, i’m taking him back to the shop.” Ernie passed the remote over to his startled wife.

“Oh, Ernie!” Gasped Hilda, in disbelief. “Have you NO feelings for this boy, that is ours?” She started to sob. Tears burning away her circuit boards. She clicked the button labelled RESTART. She clicked again. And again.

“There is NO USE, Hilda! The boy needs maintenance- Of course the remote won’t work! And must I remind you that empathy is not part of our design?!” Yelled Ernie as he slammed his metal fists through the wall, creating a perfectly round opening. “I’m sorry, Hilda, I..I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately.”

The couple stared at their son, as he slowly came back into consciousness.

“Mom? Dad? Wh…what happened? Why am I bleeding?”